


Stairway to Heaven

by TellThemNaegi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Council of Hope, Crack, Gen, Man's Nut, Memefic of that horrible V3 minigame, What the hell is Heaven?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:12:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellThemNaegi/pseuds/TellThemNaegi
Summary: The Ultimate dorks of Hope's Peak Academy spend the last day of a school field trip the only way they know how.(Set in Talent Development Plan Universe)





	Stairway to Heaven

An ominous hymn played in the background of a room of darkness. That is to the say the lights were intentionally kept off. All for the sake of securing the identities of those within, for no traces of this meeting must be left.

A round table laid at the center, its chairs filled with over a dozen chosen members, each cloaked in dark hoods and various masks.

“Gentlemen, what is hope?” spoke the leader of this hope council. Rumor has it there was also a Council of Despair shrouded in even deeper mystery. Yeah...most had already guessed that was Junko dicking around.

“To vanquish despair.”

“To challenge what is possible.”

“To pave a path for the future.”

The leader nodded in approval “All excellent answers, _however_ -"

“Let’s not beat around the bush, dudes. What I want to know is _when are we going in?_ ” One of the more excited members interrupted.

“I’m with Leon on this. We going through the front?”

“Don’t say my name, dumbass!” Leon yelled.

“Fool! Do you wish to encounter the royal guard at their doorsteps? We would be slaughtered.” Another’s voice rose. “The dark one suggests a tactical approach.”

“Agreed.” Said the leader. “Outing Leon was also a dick move, Hiro. Now pay everyone 5 bucks.”

“What?! No fair.”

“Forget those morons. Anyone got a fucking plan?! Tonight’s our only chance to pull off the mission.”

“Not to worry, I’ve scouted out the area. We can reach **[Heaven]** through the back.”

Noises of approval and cheer emanated.

“Kukuku…to see the fires burning within all of you bring me great joy, but I warn you, it won’t be an easy task. We’ll have to make the journey through the road of despair. I can’t guarantee all of us will make it alive.”

The leader raised a hand. “For our noble goal, risks are unavoidable and sacrifices must be made.” To that end, the council of Hope’s Peak’s finest were present. The ones exempt were those who would stand against them or the unchosen, unclean filth known as “the protagonists.”

Or Keebo. Nobody knows why, but Kokichi said not to invite him. Meh.

“What noble goal? You guys are creeps.” The skeptical one said.

…

The cloak to the side whined “What’s your deal, Kaito-chan! Can’t you see everyone’s having fun?”

“Shut up, Kokichi. _My deal_ is that nothing good will come of sneaking in there.”

The council groaned collectively. Okay, fine. Fuck secrecy.

“…How disappointing, to hear such despair from the voice of hope.” They would leave the skeptic in the hands of one of their most enlightened.

“What?” Kaito growled.

“Think about it, what is Heaven?”

“ _Y-You know what it is_.”

“Do I? _Do you_? Can you claim to have been there? To have seen it with your eyes? I can’t.”

“What’s your point, Nagito?”

“Is Heaven any different from the stars? We hear stories about it and while we have come close in the past, nobody has _reached_ it. Wouldn’t you say that space is similar? Is Kaito Momota, the luminary of the stars, saying we **can’t** reach space? That we **can't** survive the journey and pass the tale down to our children and grandchildren? Is this the limit of your hope?”

“Hell no! Count me in!” Kaito roared

Everyone clapped at the conversion, and at how gullible Kaito was.

“Wonderful. We begin in a few hours.”

“…What’ll we do till then?”

The leader looked to the one seated to his left. The second-in-command of the operation, and there wasn’t a soul who deemed him unfit for the position.

“I’m pretty sure at least half of us are going six feet under, so…I whipped us up a fine last supper. Before the meeting!” Teruteru said.

“AWESOME!” Nekomaru bellowed.

“Surprised you’re down with this, coach. Don’t you know Akane’ll be there?” Leon asked.

“Being honest, I’m not interested in the end, but the journey. It’s good for manly bonding!”

“Yeah…whatever, bro.” Leon looked to the leader. “We can pull this off right? I mean, we’re _support_ characters. We _always_ get fucked in these situations.”

“Nishishi. He doesn’t know?” Kokichi snickered

“Know what?”

Light shone down on their most esteemed member, his identity was revealed with the removal of the hood and mask.

The few who didn’t know about their secret weapon gasped.

Hajime sat there, arms folded.

“Damn, Hajime. I didn’t take you for the type.” Leon said, surprised.

“He’s not.” The chef grinned beneath his hood. “Ever heard of ‘Man’s Nut’?”

The baseball-star shook his head.

“Hajime’s character has been completely overwritten to suit our purposes. He really should’ve known better than to trust me.” Nagito smirked, implying he was the one responsible for the hero’s fall. No mean feat.

“By the way…we shouldn’t forget our treasured camera. All of this will have been for naught without records.” Kiyo mentioned.

“Let me tell you. It was a bitch swiping this from Mahiru before she noticed. This better pay off!” Fuyuhiko cursed, holding the photographer’s camera with a tinge of regret. But that he did so anyway spoke volumes of the rewards.

“It will.” The leader assured them.

Confidence was reborn anew. After all, with Hajime – one of the 3 lucky bastards – on their side, they couldn’t lose.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe Kaito's fucking dead!” Kokichi wailed.

The death road of despair was more arduous than they could have imagined. Minutes in and the ground began collapsing around them. Teruteru had been the only casualty, unable to make the jump and fell down the below.

Several others were captured in cages, who would no doubt pay the price come morning. They had to be left behind. For the good of the mission.

“It can’t be helped. There were too many bombs.” Hajime took charge, not giving a damn about the comrades who’d fallen on the way. All he felt was an urge to obtain the nut. Whatever it was… “And if you cared that much, maybe you shouldn't have pushed him into them!”

"Nishishi." The devil smiled.

No matter. As long as one of them reached the goal, and Hajime would be that person. He had the camera for that purpose.

Their numbers had dwindled to only 4. Hajime. Kokichi. Nagito. Leon.

“So many down so fast…and worst yet, we lost Nekomaru to the swarm of Monokuma.” Nagito said, thoughtfully.

“Tch. It’s obvious the enemy’s onto us. Those bombs and the Monokumas have to be the work of that foul-mouthed bitch.” Kokichi swore.

“Miu, huh.” Hajime grit his teeth. How’d they figure us out?

“And where's the leader?” Leon barked.

“Haven’t seen him.” Nagito replied. “By the way…who _is_ Leader?”

The other three blinked.

“Don’t you know?” Hajime asked.

Nagito scrunched his face. “No. I presumed one of you did.”

The conundrum was met with silence and befuddlement before Hajime spoke. “We're wasting time." Ordinarily, the mission could only be completed within an hour’s time. Half that period had already passed. But they had a backup plan. Teruteru (rest his pure soul) had made modifications to the enemy’s schedule, extending the timeframe from 6 – 7 to 6 – 8 pm.

“We can’t turn back either. All we can do is press on.”

Therefore, they continued along the arduous trials of death and suffering. They were close now. They could see the steam in the distance.

However, they were stopped.

“You…” Hajime growled. The reason for the absurd difficulty they faced became clear when Rantaro Amami and Kazuichi Souda appeared. Or rather, they were lying in wait for them the whole time. An army of Monokuma at their side.

“Yo, Hajime…didn’t think you were the type.” The green-haired traitor huffed in disappointment.

“That’s what I said!” Leon unhelpfully added.

“Amami-chan, how dare you stand between us and Heaven?” Kokichi raised a pointed finger

“I’m here for your own sake…Only Hell awaits if you get passed us. Turn back now.”

“Like we’ll listen to the words of a traitor.” Nagiito stepped up. “Have you no shame? No pride as a man?”

“Yeah, what the fuck, Kaz. You should be on our side!” Leon argued.

Tears of sorrow fell from the mechanic's eyes, unable to contain his guilt. “I have to do this. I promised Miss. Sonia I’d be the lookout with pretty boy.”

Explains the traps.

“What happened to bros _before_ hoes?”

“Forget it, Leon. If they won’t step aside, we’ll go through them.” Hajime said

“What a shame, Hajime. I didn’t want to fight another Ultimate “???” but you leave me no choice.” Rantaro regretfully gave the order for the Monokuma to attack.

The battle was fierce but good triumphed as always.

Hajime was alone now. Everyone else died. Probably not, but for dramatics’ sake they were as good as dead. The protagonist had only survived because Nagito sacrificed himself.

 _“I’ll be honest. I don’t care about reaching heaven. I only wanted to see your hopes shine…it’d be meaningless if only I remained.”_ Those were the luckster’s final (not really) words. And it wasn’t just him. Hajime realized during the fight that Rantaro and Kaz didn’t give their all. In the end, they were brothers even on opposite sides.

Hajime shook away unnecessary thoughts. He only had to focus on nearing the end. On the Man’s Nut.

And there it was…the exit at last. A brown door within his sights

However…

“Halt, degenerate!”

Hajime suddenly found himself surrounded on all sides by Tenko, Maki, Peko, Mukuro and Sakura. The girls wearing tight-fitting towels.

This is bad…

“You beat Rantaro. Not bad I guess.” Maki’s praise didn’t quite reach her eyes, staring at Hajime like he were the scum of the Earth. No, even worse.

“I wouldn’t have expected to see you of all people here, Hajime. Since you are, I shall give you a…fitting welcome.” Peko gripped her bamboo sword.

“If you leave now, we will pretend to not have seen you.” Sakura said, arms crossed.

“Junko-chan ordered me to kill any men on sight.” Mukuro cocked her rifle, the barrel (filled with totally non-lethal bullets) poised at Hajime

So this was what Rantaro warned him about…trifling. “Out of the way. By the man's nut, I _will_ reach Heaven!”

The girls expressed shock for only a moment. Surprise gave way to embarrassment, and finally to anger.

“I…don’t know what’s come over you.” As the only girl in Hajime’s class, Peko took it upon herself to convey their feelings. “But if _heaven_ is where you want to go, then I’ll gladly send you there.”

“Tenko promises the trip will be a most painful one.”

Meaningless words. Hajime only answered to a higher calling and charged forward. Even though his legs could barely carry him, Hajime wouldn’t stop moving forward until he was dead.

So he died.

Mission failed.

 

* * *

 

 “What the heck was all that noise?” Aoi’s head poked up from the steaming bath-water.

“Don’t tell me the guys were trying to peek again.” Chiaki muttered, enjoying the feeling of Kaede washing her hair.

“I don’t think we have anything to worry about with those 5 guarding us.” The pianist smiled.

“Damn right, but I wouldn’t put it past those poor boys.” Junko flaunted her breasts. “Never getting to see these babies is a despair even I couldn’t imagine.”

The girls looked away…save one. “…I happened to notice you disappeared for quite a long time in the afternoon. Where did you go?” Kyoko asked.

“I had a meeting.” Junko replied.

The detective squinted. “What meeting could you have scheduled during a field trip?”

“You’d be surprised how much a girl can plan in advance.”

“My skin’s getting prickly. Should we get out?” Sayaka suggested.

“Yeah, the fun’s over.” Junko agreed.

Just as the girls stepped out of the bath, they picked up on two voices. Neither of which sounded like they were of a female persuasion.

“Where’d everyone go?” Makoto Naegi walked in with nothing but a towel strapped to his thin waist.

“I don’t know, but Kaito and a few of the others have been acting suspicious all day. I’m worried they’re up to something.” Shuichi Saihara replied, in a similar taste of undress.

“You too? I was getting glared at everywhere I wen-.” The brunet faced the front, taking in the unprecedented scenery. 

…

“M-Makoto, you said the girls’ turn ended at 7 right?”

“They did! I-I mean, that’s what the sign said in the morning.” He squeaked. Both boys’ faces turning red, almost too shocked to appreciate the naked bodies of their overly developed classmates.

Almost.

Despite not being affiliated with the nefarious Council of ~~idiots~~  Hope, the two lucky bastards planted their feet knee-deep in Heaven…which turned out to be not much different from Hell after they were torn limb from limb. If asked if the pain was worth it, Makoto and Shuichi would answer: "Yes. Yes it was."

 

* * *

 

_Gentlemen, what is hope?_

“Good job perv.” Junko said, passing one Teruteru Hanamura in the halls, dirt clinging to the chef’s shredded clothes.

“Naturally. You got my reward?” Teruteru asked, his fingers moving in a perverted manner.

Junko pulled photos out of her pocket. “Better not get caught with these if you don’t want the girls to kill you too.”

“Mama Mia!” The stubby cook took the pictures with gusto and tucked them into the shirt. “Pleasure doing business with you as always…Leader.”

“Until next time.” Junko grinned.

_Hope is only one step on the road to despair._


End file.
